Monday, 4 May 2015

Mind the House, Kaeli

On Saturday, May 2, 2015 I had to say goodbye to the most loving, most loyal friend I have ever known this side of heaven.

Kaeli was the best dog ever. 
A million little moments remind me of her every day. When I wake up in the middle of the night and have to use the bathroom, I think I have to be careful to not disturb her. Then I look at her empty bed lying on the floor.

When the morning sun shines in through my window, I open my eyes, expecting to see Kaeli's goofy, tongue-lolling smile as she rolls onto her back - her request for a belly rub. But she is not there.

When I come home I think I should hear her waiting in anticipation on the other side of the door as I take off my coat. But there is no wagging tail, no clunking of a treasured bone as she brings it to me as her special way of saying, "I give you my everything; there is nothing I treasure more than you." The bigger the bone she brought seemed to indicate how much she had missed us.

When I finish my meal there is no happy face, eager to lick my plate. When I feed the cats in the morning, she is not there to clean off their dishes when they have eaten their fill. When we go out for ice cream, she isn't there to make us laugh at how fast she can down a cone.

This morning I took her dish and held it to my chest for a while before I put it away. There are signs of her all around me - her blankets, her beds, her treats, her almost new bag of kibble and her little doggie wheelchair that we got only six weeks ago. I know we have to do something with all of these things....

When the vet gently put her to sleep, Kaeli looked into my eyes. Even after we were told that she was gone, her heart had ceased to beat, she kept her eyes fixed on me. They were still filled with light, with trust and with love. Her spirit was still there. She didn't know how to leave.

Whenever we would go out we used to tell Kaili, "Mind the house" and she was immediately at peace. She knew that meant we would be coming back. So I told her,

"It's okay Kaeli. You don't have to take care of us any more. We'll be okay. You mind the house with Jesus and we'll see you when we get there."

Then her eyes glazed over and I knew her spirit had left.

Jesus said, "In my Father's house are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you."

My mansion will be filled with cat trees, bird perches and dog beds for a lifetime of beloved pets that have gone before me. But waiting right beside Jesus at my front door will be Kaeli, with the biggest bone in her mouth that she can carry.

"Mind the house, Kaeli. I'll see you when I get there."


Terry JP Arsenault said...

This is so beautiful, Teresa, your words have such a way to describe our little girl and keep her memories alive.

Desire Fourie said...

So so sorry to hear that Kaeli has left you here and waiting in doggie heaven for you. May precious memories of her keep her alive in your hearts forever xxx
{Doing Life – my personal blog}

Wies said...

Hi Teresa,
So sorry to read that you had to put Keali to sleep. All the pictures and your words tell us what a great dog and friend she was.

Valerie-Jael said...

Sorry to hear that Kaeli is no more, it must have been a very hard decision for you. Your memories of her will keep her live in your heart. Hugs, Valerie

Penny said...

Made me cry. So, so sorry for your loss. I know how badly you feel--have gone through this way too many times myself. But I know she'll be waiting for you. Patiently...
Biggest hugs possible, Penny

McCrafty's Cards said...

I am so sorry to hear this sad news, but she is now sitting on the lap of the Lord and asking him to please watch over my Mum
sending big hugs
Kevin xx

Lady Anne Milnes Howard said...

Oh Teresa my heart reaches out to you as it isn't that long since my Molly went on that same journey. Thank you for sharing your love of Kaeli with us. I feel honoured to have read yours and Kaeli's story...
Sending lots of love and big hugs ~ Lady Anne xx

Peggy T. said...

Teresa, this is such a heart wrenching tribute to your beautiful fur baby. I know she will live on in your memories. Sending hugs your way. God Bless You!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, your photos and memories brought tears to my eyes. We lost our last baby last year and I feel your heart break. May your pain get easier with time.

Blessings and hugs, Lori m
Throughtheeyesofgg@wordpress. com

Karon said...

Oh I am so sorry to read this post - what a wonderful dog! Sending you lots of hugs, xoxox.

NanaConnie said...

A beautiful tribute, my friend. I have tars in my eyes.

marga said...

Teresa, yo no puedo contener las lágrimas leyendo esto...
Siento mucho tu tristeza por la pérdida de Kaeli.
Piensa en lo feliz que fue contigo, y todo el amor que lleva de ti.
Muchos abrazos para ti.
Kaeli ♥