Sunday, 24 November 2013

Another Excerpt

I'm still plugging away at my NaNoWriMo challenge to write 50,000 words of a novel in just one month. To date, I am at 23,505. That's a few thousand words behind where I should be. I'll be surprised if I actually make it to 50,000 but at least I am making some good progress.

Today I started a map of my fictional land and incorporated locations from my first (unpublished) novel that I plan to make Book Three in this series. It also looks like what I thought was going to be one book, is actually going to be two.

Without further yadda-yadda, here is an short excerpt of what I wrote today. Enjoy! :)




“I’ll tell her that Darva is asleep in my bed and that you have gone to visit your mother. She’ll likely just go to bed and that will give you at least until the morning to get some distance away.”

“She will be in a rage when she finds out, Mali. I hate to admit it, but she may… she may even kill you. You must come with us.”

Darva was just coming awake as she listened to the conversation between her great-aunt and Papa. She was discovering that she could learn things sometimes by pretending to be asleep. She wondered who the ‘she’ was that might kill Auntie Mali. 

“Nonsense. Just take the child and go, Jondon, and keep away from roads and towns. You will have to hide in the forest. Go east. Abella doesn’t know that area.”

Abella? Abella is my mother, Darva thought. She wouldn’t kill Auntie Mali. She was Mama. But maybe she would hit Auntie Mali like she did to her. She touched the puffiness around her eye and said, “Ouch!”

Papa and Auntie Mali stopped talking all at once. Auntie Mali came over to the chair where Darva had curled up to sleep.

“You and your papa are going on a trip, Darva,” she said, “Won’t that be fun?”

Darva sat up, holding her eye. She looked up at her great-aunt through her other eye.
“Mama won’t kill you, Auntie Mali. But maybe you should come with us in case she gives you a pink black eye too.”

Auntie Mali laughed. “A pink black eye? Is that what you’ve got?”

“Or maybe your black eye will be a different colour, but I know that you like pink; only maybe you like another colour even better. Which is your favourite colour, Auntie Mali?”

“Green, but I think I’d rather have a pink black eye like yours.”

“Don’t do it, Auntie Mali. It might look nice, but it really hurts, especially when it gets punched. I think Papa is right. You should come on a trip with me and Papa.”

“Just how long have you been listening to us talking, young lady?”

Darva lowered her chin to her chest. “Just a little bit of sensentes.”

“The word is sentences, Darva, and you shouldn’t eavesdrop.”

“I didn’t drop anything, Auntie Mali; honest.”

Papa had been moving around in the larder. He came into the kitchen with a bulging burlap sack and a heavy cloak. He put on the cloak and slung the string that tied up the sack over his shoulder.

“Guess what, Darva? It’s time for our trip.”

“She knows all about it, Jondon,” Auntie Mali said, standing and folding her arms in front of her chest. She raised her eyebrows and glanced down at Darva. “She was eavesdropping on our conversation.”

“How much did she hear?”

Darva pushed off from the chair and ran to Papa.

“I didn’t drop any leaves, Papa; honest. I was just listening.”

Papa scooped Darva into his big, strong arms and laughed. Darva loved the sound and didn’t ask why he was laughing.

“Will Mama be very angry when she finds out we tripped without her?”

“Yes, Darva, I believe she will.”

“Then maybe we should trip with Mama and then she won’t kill Auntie Mali or even give her a pink black eye.”

“Darva, we are going on a trip to get away from Mama so she can’t hurt you any more. Do you understand?”

“I guess.” Darva felt her chin getting all wobbly. “Why doesn’t Mama love us, Papa?”

7 comments:

Golda said...

This makes me very sad, which means it is moving writing.

Lady Anne said...

Oh Teresa, I think it is fabulous, I love reading these snippets of yours, will it be going on Kindle? I would love to read the whole thing when you have finished. My Ian thinks you are doing well and he is a writer, he has had poetry published I keep telling him to write a book as he has a wonderful imagination. Keep up the good work sweetheart and know I am proud of you and what you are doing, I give you ***
Love ~ Lady Anne xx
Lady Anne's

Linda Pope said...

Makes me want to read more!

Dr Sonia S V said...

Teresa...I didnt know you were a writer!!! Hats off to you!!
Cheers
Dr Sonia
Cards Crafts School Projects

Karon said...

Great reading and how well you portray feelings etc. Still looking forward to reading the whole thing once finished :-) Have a great week.

Teresa Arsenault said...

Thank you for all the lovely comments. Keep in mind that this is a first draft and written very quickly. It will be tweaked and tightened quite a bit before it is ready for publication. I do plan to make it available in an electronic version; possibly a print-on-demand version as well.

Penny said...

Another wonderful excerpt! You really do great dialogue! :^)
Hugs, Penny